It’s no secret that I like movies . . . love movies . . . love movies a lot. For nearly every week of the year, you can find me in the dark of a cinema, be it with a summer blockbuster, a silly comedy, a sappy romance, or an artsy indie flick. Really, I don’t discriminate much in what I’ll see, as long as it’s good.
But there’s no time of year that I love more for movies than what is commonly known as awards season. From September to January, studios roll out their films that drip with innovation, artistry, significance, or all the above. And like a coach choosing his winning team, Hollywood execs aim these films to win awards, hoping to up their profit margins. (Yes, at the end of the day, it’s still all about money—but that’s a discussion for another time.)
Having said that, I am aware that the vast majority of people often feel a disconnect from awards season films. What do they care for those obscure, high-brow titles that sometimes they’ve never even heard of? How could they have seen them when they only ran at that one theater downtown where they show all the “weird” movies? Or worse, why see movies about what those “liberal elites” want them to believe and think?
And I get it. Film is not everyone’s thing. Some people go to the movies solely for entertainment, not for an artistic experience, and there’s nothing wrong with that. (All I ask is you all admit there’s also nothing wrong with me not getting the big deal about watching a bunch of guys throw a ball around.)
Still, if I can stand to watch the best football teams play in the Super Bowl, everyone else can add at least one Oscar-nominated film to their to-watch list.
I’m a firm believer that new experiences are what make us better people. So, I challenge those of you who don’t venture beyond the latest summer popcorn flick to step out of your cinematic comfort zone for a moment.
To help, I have created this list, ranking the Best Picture nominees for this year from Least to Most Accessible to Mass Audiences. My gauge here is my friends and family who don’t examine films and simply want to see a good, agreeable movie (i.e. my mom).
9. Phantom Thread
Who Will Like It: Fans of the director, Paul Thomas Anderson, costume design nerds, and auteur cinema aficionados.
Who Won’t Like It: Pretty much everyone else.
Look, I love artsy, unconventional films more than most people. But even I struggled to get through this one. If your biggest gripe about Oscar films is that they’re slow and boring, run as far as you can from this one.
8. Call Me By Your Name
Who Will Like It: Anyone wanting to see the rare creature that is superior LGBTQ cinema; the beauty of Northern Italy will delight globetrotters too.
Who Won’t Like It: Obviously if you bristle at the sight of two dudes kissing or getting it on, you’re going to struggle here. The age difference might bother you too; it did for me a bit.
This is a gorgeous film, and easily the most noteworthy gay romance since Brokeback Mountain. But even if the gayness doesn’t bother you, Call Me By Your Name is a risque art film, through and through. Even if it were a hypothetical straight couple in the same story (impossible as that would be), this film still might be too much for Joe Popcorn.
7. Lady Bird
Who Will Like It: Daughters who have a complicated relationship with their moms, and anyone who can sympathize with that.
Who Won’t Like It: Those annoyed by “mumblecore”—low budget films where teens and young adults talk a lot and not much happens in the plot. Many feel Lady Bird is the best mumblecore ever made.
Lady Bird sports awesome performances from Lucas Hedges, Laurie Metcalf, and, of course, Saoirse Ronan. It also, for a while, was the best reviewed movie in Rotten Tomatoes history. Still, funny as it is, you have to enjoy a dialogue-heavy, slice-of-ordinary-life movie to like this one.
6. The Shape of Water
Who Will Like It: If a darker, more adult, and more science-fictiony retelling of Beauty and the Beast sounds like your thing, do not miss it.
Who Won’t Like It: Make no mistake, Shape of Water is the weirdest entry this year. It’s simple: mute lady falls in love with amphibious fish-man. Does that sound too out there for you? That’s the least bizarre part about it, so skip it if it does.
I cannot tell you how much it pains me to put this one so low on the list, as Shape of Water is my number one movie of the year. It’s gorgeous, emotive, and a far more relevant LGBTQ film than Call Me By Your Name (yes I said it #sorrynotsorry). But I have to be honest: the subject matter is just going to be too weird for most (not to mention it’s the most sexually explicit of the list . . . yeah, it goes there).
5. Get Out
Who Will Like It: Even being the latest in the burgeoning indie-horror-flick-with-something-to-say-about-society category (which is what the best horror has always been anyway), Get Out will still appeal to anyone who enjoys a good scary movie . . .
Who Won’t Like It: . . . unless you’re the type who believes that films should never have any political or social commentary whatsoever . . . or you think Black Lives Matter is a hate group . . . please don’t ever admit to me if it’s the latter.
I struggled whether to put this one at number four or five. But I figured a horror film holds less wide appeal than what I did place at number four. Still, if the violence or scares don’t turn you off (it wins goriest award on this list) you should add Get Out to your to-watch list.
4. Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri
Who Will Like It: This is all around a great movie with socially relevant ideas that everyone can relate to. Honestly, everyone could use a dose of this film in our troubled and divisive world.
Who Won’t Like It: Without giving too much away, Three Billboards isn’t going to satisfy audiences who have to have Hollywood endings.
Don’t let its spot on the list fool you: Three Billboards is not your run-of-the-mill drama. Still, it earns number four by being laugh-out-loud funny with a hero audiences will instantly like and root for. Be advised though that it earns the roughest language award of the list (only I, Tonya could have beaten it).
At this point we’re moving on to the only three nominated films that are not rated R. And yes, I did this on purpose. Let’s face it, broad mass appeal includes appealing to a variety of age groups.
3. Darkest Hour
Who Will Like It: Watching Gary Oldman become Winston Churchill is the draw here (hence all his awards). Your history buffs might also enjoy yet another take on the trusty subject of World War II. (Then again, they may hate its fudging of facts.)
Who Won’t Like It: Gary Oldman’s near-perfect recreation of Churchill’s mumbling might frustrate some. And since it’s about the conversations that go on in strategy rooms, it’s not exactly your typical war movie.
Every year the Academy picks at least one film they would have nominated fifty years ago. Darkest Hour is that pick this year. It has everything you think of when you think “Oscar movie”: career performance from veteran actor, WWII, “based on real events”, relatively safe choices, WWII. True to form, Darkest Hour (note there’s no “the” in the title) is not the most exciting film. Be sure you’re well-rested.
2. The Post
Who Will Like It: Do you like films about journalism like All The President’s Men? Do you want to see one woman take on a group of men who thinks she’s incapable in the best “get it girl” moment since Wonder Woman? Fancy political intrigue and think Nixon is the worst thing that ever happened to this country? If any of those apply, check it out.
Who Won’t Like It: I’d like to say that three of Hollywood’s most respected names didn’t come together to make a statement film about our current president. That it’s not film about feminism. That it’s not a film about the vilifying of the free press, nor what a transparent government should look like . . . but that’s exactly what it is. Your politics may hate them for it.
You can almost feel how badly Spielberg and crew wanted to make this film. I’d be curious to know how long this script has been around and if it was only picked up because of current events. Regardless of how relevant it is, The Post is a solid film that only suffers from not living up to the potential of those involved . . . and it ain’t no Spotlight.
1. Dunkirk
Who Will Like It: The idea here is that most everyone will, in my humble opinion, find something to enjoy about this one.
Who Won’t Like It: The one caveat is that if you’re not crazy about movies where people don’t talk a whole lot, where there is no true main character, or with Nolan’s creative story structure, you might still find it tedious.
Up until I saw Shape of Water, this film was number one on my list and is still number two. I think many have forgotten in the ensuing months how incredible a film Dunkirk is. Nolan uses his non-linear plot to thrilling effect. The cinematography is spectacular. It’s the best sound design and sound editing I’ve heard since Fury Road. Most of all, it possesses a universal expression of war and survival that most anyone can relate to, even if they’ve never seen a battlefield. And I pity you if you missed this one in IMAX.
Now for some honorable mentions of films that were clearly gunning for Oscars and are worth checking out:
Mudbound: I am stunned and frankly upset Phantom Thread and Darkest Hour were nominated for Best Picture over this. Be advised this film has a tough scene to watch (I was ugly-crying).
I, Tonya: This could have had Phantom Thread‘s place, too. Watch out for the 100+ f-bombs though.
The Big Sick: Best rom-com I’ve seen in years.
Molly’s Game: For the Sorkin fans out there; perhaps his most “fun” project ever.
Coco: Okay, if you haven’t seen this one yet, drop everything and see it now. Best Pixar film since Inside Out.
The Florida Project: Not for everyone, but beautiful in its own way.
So there you have it. And remember, many of these are coming back to theaters for limited “Oscar marathons” so you may still catch them if you missed out the first time.
See you at the movies!
[Awkward Pause] 
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