Spoilers, obviously.
I realize I’m going against most of the Western world here. Most people have decried the How I Met Your Mother finale as one of the worst in television, placing it alongside some of the more infamous flubbed bow-outs, including Dexter and Lost.
I disagree.
First, let me dispense with one perspective I’ve heard that really irks me—that the finale somehow destroyed the entire series. Even if I agreed that the finale was as horrible as some believe it to be, I would never equate a failed finale with a failed series.
Regardless of your feelings about the finale, or even the series as a whole (some believe it to be extremely overrated), one cannot deny that HIMYM is a significant entry in the world of network sitcoms. For the most part, television sitcoms are quite cut and dry: a unique situation with a unique group of people and perhaps a thread of an overarching story thrown in to justify running the damn thing until the ratings finally drop and the network pulls the plug. Granted, HIMYM was slightly guilty of this (it could have ended a season or two ago and been just fine) but the producers and writers of this show took some huge risks that as far as I know had never been attempted in a sitcom before—the largest of these, obviously, being to have the series’s major question be answered in the opening frame. A few of these risks didn’t work out, but for the most part the show pulled off some of its more difficult tasks and should be remembered for how, ahem, legendary it is.
Now about that finale.
As far as I can tell, people are most upset about three things: Robin and Barney getting divorced (and Robin’s subsequent distance), Barney regressing to his former self (including his illegitimate child), and Ted going after Robin six years after his wife Tracy’s death (which some have suggested cheapens Tracy’s character and essentially compromises the entire series). I’ll deal with each of these as best I can, and why only one really bothers me.
First, the reason why the “(mostly)” is in the title: I also did not like what the writers did with Barney’s character. The divorce I can understand (see below), but I too would have hoped that even if Barney and Robin fell apart that Barney would have somewhat grown as a character. I think this may be why the writers threw in the pregnancy and baby, but it felt so rushed and undeveloped (not to mention the fact that we never see the mother’s face . . . ironic). However, even if I didn’t like what the writers did with Barney, I can respect their decision for doing so. Why?
The problem I have with a lot of sitcoms is that when they end, they have too much of a wrapped-up-and-tied-with-a-bow feeling. While TV often provides an escape from reality, HIMYM proved a long time ago that it wasn’t going to be that kind of show. Even though it was comedic, through all nine seasons it’s dealt with missed chances, broken promises, failed relationships, and the sad reality that life rarely, if ever, has a perfect happy-ever-after. So while what happened with Barney is annoying, I dare someone out there to tell me that they’ve never known people who, no matter how hard they try, cannot ever get over their failings and weaknesses. Some people fight with their flaws their whole lives, and unfortunately end up hurting a lot of people without any sort of redemption. Which is why I do agree that the sudden baby was pointless, and the one thing about the finale that really bothered me: if Barney is going to be hopelessly flawed, then make sure he stays that way.
The divorce, however, I felt was totally justified. Again, most sitcoms end with the couples getting together and everyone being happy (Friends the most obvious example), and HIMYM has often dealt that hard dose of reality with the laughs. And as we know all too well, a successful and long-lasting marriage anymore is an exception, and not the rule. As much as we hope that when two people are in love they’ll be that way forever, the truth is it doesn’t always work out that way. People change, and the way they feel about others, even those closest to them, can change too.
Which is also why I didn’t mind the final moment of the finale. A lot of people have said that Ted going after Robin at the end cheapens Tracy into a plot point. I emphatically disagree on this one. The story has always been how a man met the mother of his children . . . not the life the two of them had together. And when you consider the final moment in the context of that frame, does it really seem cheap that a man who has been on his own for six years would not start thinking about the possibility of being with someone else to the point that his thoughts constantly drift toward her? Particularly someone who he had been with before? Yes, the relationship with Tracy wasn’t fully fleshed out, but did the story ever give any indication that Ted didn’t love her completely and totally?
Now, a lot of people say: But Ted and Robin are such an unhealthy couple! WRONG. They were an unhealthy couple in their twenties. Are we really so juvenile to believe that two people couldn’t grow and mature enough to work out with each other later? And besides, we don’t know that they ended up together. It’s like the ending of Sleepless in Seattle: the entire series, up to and including the final moment, wasn’t about being with the love of your life . . . it was about the hope of finding and the thrill of going after that person.
What really sold me on the finale, though, was the brutal honesty of what happened to the group as the years went by. Again, most sitcoms give off this impression that everyone has a core group of friends that never changes, that never evolves, and that everyone always stays in each other’s lives forever. HIMYM chose to defy this tradition with a dose of reality, and I am so grateful they did.
I suppose I loved this so much mostly because of where I’m at in life right now (warning, I’m about to get sappy and personal). In six months or less, my best friend in the world is going to get married. As much as the two of us don’t want to admit it, we’re both smart enough to realize that our relationship isn’t ever going to be the same after that. We’ll always be friends, but we can’t have the same kind of relationship as we had before. And it’s not just him. I can count on one hand the number of friends I’ve had in both high school and college that I still talk to on a weekly basis. And it’s not because we don’t still care about each other . . . life just gets in the way unless you work really hard to not let that happen; sometimes you realize that you need to let that happen. So as awful and sad as it was to watch Robin feel like she didn’t belong in that group of people anymore, it was something I could relate with, and it was territory that a sitcom hasn’t touched before as far as I know.
Ultimately, the finale felt true to the story HIMYM had been telling from the beginning. The story has always been one about how people change and evolve, how the life you plan to live is rarely the one you end up living, and how no matter how unpredictable and awful life can be, you have to keep living. You have to keep hoping that something better is waiting for you. The finale emphasized that there is no stop-point in life where people, relationships, feelings, and desires freeze where they are and remain unchanged. People will get married, and people will get divorced. People will turn over new leaves, and people will return to old vices. Children will be born, and parents will pass away. Friendships will fade, and romances will be rekindled. You can’t keep life the way you want it, so enjoy the blissful moments along the way, and remember those moments when life isn’t so great.
After all, How I Met Your Mother is all about a single moment.
– Blake
[Awkward Pause] 